Remembering Roe

40 years ago today, the landmark decision to legalize abortion was made.

It literally brings tears to my eyes.

Mother Theresa said it best in 1994:

"America needs no words from me to see how your decision in Roe v. Wade has deformed a great nation.  The so-called right to abortion has pitted mothers against their children and women against men.  It has sown violence and discord at the heart of the most intimate human relationships.  It has aggravated the derogation of the father's role in an increasingly fatherless society.  it has portrayed the greatest of gifts - - a child - - as a competitor, an intrusion, and an inconvenience.  And, in granting this unconscionable power, it has exposed many women to unjust and selfish demands from their husbands or other sexual partners.  Human rights are not a privilege conferred by government. They are every human being's entitlement by virtue of his humanity. The right to life does not depend, and must not be declared to be contingent, on the pleasure of anyone else, not even a parent or a sovereign."

Last month, after the tragedy in Newtown, CT our president was quoted as saying something along the lines of this:

The innocent children in Newtown, because of this senseless act of violence, now won't have a chance at life - birthdays, graduations, weddings... 

This same president who supports the killing of over 3,000 innocent lives EVERY DAY.  That's over 1 million innocent lives every year!

Can we say contradictory and hypocritical?

When do we as a country - as a society - say enough is enough?!

This year I pledge to do all I can to protect the lives of the unborn... to be the voice for the voiceless.  If it isn't in God's plan for me to be a mother... I will die praying for, protecting and raising awareness for the thousands of lives given up on every day.

SSMT 2013

I've become a stalker of Bekah over at Bekah's Bits and came across her blog entry about SIESTA 2013 for scripture memory.  Beth Moore is heading up her  Siesta Scripture Memory Team (SSMT) and I ordered my adorable little spiral bound index card holder thingy and GUESS WHAT?!

It came in the mail today!!  I am SUPER excited!  I'm also behind.  We are supposed to check in on the 1st and 15th of every month.  I obviously missed the 1st, so I'm going to start with the 15th and try to catch up at some point during the year.  I've asked the Lord to be faithful and show me the verses He would have me hide in my heart, and this first verse seems so fitting given my goals for this year.  So, without further ado... my first verse of the year:

Psalm 37:7

Be still in the presence of the LORD,

     and wait patiently for Him to act.

Don't worry about evil people who prosper

     or fret about their wicked schemes.

I like the New Living Translation for this particular verse - some translations say "Rest in the Lord" but I like the translations that say "Be still".  Being still is difficult for me to do.  I also like this translation because it says "in the presence of the Lord"... not just "be still before the Lord" or "Be still in the Lord"... but be still in His presence.... my prayer is that I find myself in His presence constantly in 2013.

I also really like the second half of this verse.  "Don't worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes."  I love scripture because it is so versatile and applicable.  Some people call this taking it out of context.  I call it... personalizing.

Confession:  There are lots of people getting married and having babies and I struggle with that on a daily basis.  Some of these people include people who haven't done things "the right way".  

What do I  mean by that?  I graduated from high school.  I went to college.  I got a degree.  I worked while I tried to find a job in my field.  I found a job in my field.  I left that job.  I got a Master's degree.  I go to church every week.  I love Jesus.  I keep busy and enjoy serving in the ministries I'm involved in.  I feel like I've done everything right - why won't God bless me with marriage and motherhood??  I see others who do whatever they want whenever they want to, being blessed with good husbands and beautiful babies.  I know the grass isn't always greener, and I realize my attitude is selfish... but it is hard not to have the "woe is me" mentality.  So, I'm hoping this verse helps with that!

So, there we have it!  First scripture verse of the year.  If all goes as planned, I'll have 24 verses memorized before the end of 2013!

5 Question Friday!

1.  Flu mist?  Flu shot?  Or take your chances?  Flu shot - always!  I've heard way too many people say that with a flu shot, they either don't get the flu OR the symptoms are less severe than those who didn't get a shot.  I'm a firm believer in the flu shot!

2.  Do your kids have iPads?  What are some good educational apps?  Price?  Don't have kids, but i have an iPad!  If I'm blessed with kids Super Moms Rachel and Amanda will be my go-to Moms for good apps.

3.  What are your favorite girl/boy names?  I used to love the name Ava for a girl.  Even now that I've taught and met a few Ava's, I haven't met one I didn't like. I also liked Addison for a girl.  In college I was drawn to boy names that ended in "son".  Grayson, Bryson, Jackson, Emerson, etc.  Now, I don't really care.. popular, trending, original, top 1,000.... ultimately I'd like for the name to be Biblical and/or have some sort of family meaning.

4.  If "an apple a day keeps the doctor away", what apple do you choose to eat? I'm a Macintosh girl, or Pink Lady.

5.  What is your favorite place to escape to for peace and quiet, to think?  Why?  I'm a big fan of either "The Wall" on Ocean Avenue in New London, or going out to Stonington Point in Stonington Borough.  I was just there earlier this week.  I do a lot of talking with and listening to God when I'm there.  I prefer Stonington because there's a lesser chance of running into someone I know while I'm there.  I don't know why, but I'm drawn to water when I need some intense time with God.

2013 goals

A few weeks ago I was perusing Kohl's in the hustle and bustle of the Christmas season.  I was there with the intent of finding some new jewelry for the Christmas concert I would be singing in that weekend.

My heart wasn't really into Christmas at that point, as my great state of Connecticut had just experienced the nation's 2nd worst school shooting in our country's history the day before.  Then, I spotted a ring that said "hope".

Given the circumstances of the day before, I couldn't pass it up.

Also, notice the finger I'm choosing to wear it on.

I am more hopeful with this new year than I have been since I can remember.  It is 1/3 of the way through January and I'm still pretty positive... most moments.  Yes, this is a moment-by-moment process and most moments I still feel positive that 2013 is going to be a great year.

That said, I have a few goals that God has been speaking to me about - and I'm putting them here to document them and hopefully use this blog as a way to keep track of the goals being checked off my list.

2013 - 

Health Goals:

Lose these last 30 pounds.  I'm down almost 60 pounds since March (80 pounds since August  2010!!), and this is the home stretch.  Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I could be one of "those" people who actually attempted to lose weight and was successful at it. Xyngular has been such a blessing to me this year, and I pray my success continues.

Exercise. - I was doing ok with this before winter hit.  I need to get back to the gym until it warms up enough to be walking outside at Poquonnock Plains Park.  Kathryn has been encouraging me in this area already and for that I am thankful.  Goal is to exercise 3 times a week beginning in February, if not before.

Financial Goals:

Pay extra on my student loans when I can. I'm looking at the last few thousand on my student loans.  Ultimately this is better debt than other types of debt, but it is debt nonetheless.  I'd like to see it gone.

Cut my credit card debt in half.  This is a lofty goal with work being so random and unreliable.  But, I was blessed with news from the state last week and I know God is pushing me to get rid of my 2 credit cards altogether, so I'm praying towards this goal.

Personal Goals:

Go on a date. Is this asking too much?  One date with a normal man.  I think that's reasonable.

Is getting engaged by the end of the year too ridiculous?  Ultimately I'd love to replace the "hope" ring on my finger with a diamond.  Not sure this is the year for that, but with God ANYTHING is possible!!!!!  I'm really praying through some difficult things right now - I've always always ALWAYS wanted to be a wife and mother.  I can remember playing hospital when I was 6 or 7 years old and I would pretend to be in labor (true story).  It has been a desire of my heart for as long as I can remember.  I'm staring down 35 years in 2013 and I'm still waiting.  I keep telling people "I don't think God would give me this strong of a desire to be a wife and mother if it wasn't in His plan for me."  But then (what I hope is) the enemy creeps in.  Doubt takes up residence and I get discouraged.  A friend told me last week that she has committed to praying this year for my husband.  My response was that many, many days I can't bring myself to pray about marriage and motherhood because it is just too painful - it feels like an empty, unanswered prayer.  I'm working on getting rid of that mentality - of that attitude of disappointment and fear.  It's a process, people.

Scripture memorization.  I may or may not have ordered this super adorable lined spiral index card book to help me memorize a verse a month.  I'm going to post January's verse as soon as the cards come in!

Seriously attempt to build a small business.  Building my small business with Xyngular will not only help me achieve my weight loss goals, but also my financial goals.  It just makes sense!

That's it!  I think those are attainable goals.  What goals have you set for 2013?

meet Valerin!

I am very blessed to be a member of a church that still holds an annual mission's conference.  This year I could only make the Sunday services along with Wednesday night due to my grad school schedule.

Wednesday night we had a skype session with Ernie from Vision Trust.  We were able to talk with him, have adults and children ask questions, and learn more about Vision Trust in general.

Let me back up a bit:  I've attended several Women of Faith conferences, and there is always a big push to sponsor a child through Vision Trust.  I've always brushed aside the prodding in my heart telling me to sponsor a little one.  I always came up with an excuse, even though I had a job and could afford the $35 a month it would cost.

Well, after our Wednesday evening mission's conference service I could no longer ignore what my heart was telling me.

Meet Valerin!

Valerin Jesus Dolores

"Valerin is a restless but very friendly little girl.  She is talkative and she loves to play group games with the other children. Valerin lives with her mother and brother in the impoverished area of Herrera, Dominican Republic.  Her father abandoned the family.  Valerin lives in an environment where drug use, domestic violence and gangs are common social issues."

My sponsorship of this precious little girl makes it possible for Valerin to attend school where she will receive a school uniform, books, food and dental and medical care. She will hear the Gospel presented through Christian curriculum taught at school and learn of Jesus' love for her.  Valerin is young but she helps at home by washing dishes (She is a girl after my own heart!!!).  I'm praying that my support will help her receive the help she needs to develop to her fullest potential!  I hope to meet this beautiful little girl in the not too distant future!

What a honor and privilege to sponsor this young life.  If you don't already sponsor a child in need, please prayerfully consider doing so.  You can sponsor a child by clicking here:

2012

The Lord has laid upon my heart for a few weeks now that this is a year that I am to pray expectantly.

Not just praying for the sake of praying...

not praying because I feel it is the right thing to do...

not praying to get what I want... (admit it, you do it too!)

but having a prayer life that draws me closer to my Maker and with the ASSURANCE and CERTAINTY that He hears me.

It's about praying without doubt.

You know, that little voice in your head that is whispering (or some days shouting) "Why bother? This prayer has gone unanswered for YEARS."

Those prayers for me are praying for a husband. Praying for weight loss. Praying for healing for individuals in my church family. Praying for friends who are trying to conceive. Praying for salvation for loved ones. Praying for students I had in youth group who have walked away from their faith. There are countless others...

But looking back, I have been praying those prayers without the expectant hope and faith that He will answer them. I know some people would look at this not as "unanswered prayer" but prayer that has been answered, just not the way we wanted it to be answered.

Personally, it's been that voice that creates doubt. That voice that discourages. The voice that says "He can't" when I boldly proclaim in my praise and worship that He can... and He has.

What the Lord has laid upon my heart was affirmed last Sunday in the sermon my Pastor preached. He is doing a series out of the book of James, and the verse we studied yesterday was James chapter 1, verse 6:

"But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind."

He took us to the passage in Mark where a father takes his son to Jesus. This man's son is possessed by demons. He explains to Jesus (I'm paraphrasing here) that his son has seizures, causing him to become paralyzed and foaming at the mouth. He thrashes around and many times it has nearly killed him. He basically asks Jesus "If you can do anything here to help my son, please do it."

I love Jesus' response. "IF you can? Nothing is impossible for he who believes."

I also love the response of the man to Jesus' statement. "Lord, I believe.... but help my unbelief!"

Can you relate to that? I sure can. I have read that verse several times throughout my life and have always been able to relate to it... but when I read it that morning, it was as if I had never read those words before.

It's like God was playing one of those Verizon Wireless commercials in my head while I sat there: "Can you hear Me now?"

Loud. And. Clear.

Here's to a year of praying expectantly. Looking forward to great things this year!

wait

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word."

"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign."

"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run."

"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint."

"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.

"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart."

"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last."

"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you."

"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."

by Russell Kelfer

Five Question Friday

1. What's the best Christmas present you've ever received? I would have to say my Cabbage Patch Kid when I was 5 or 6 years old. He was exactly what I wanted - a boy, bald with brown eyes. I loved that doll. I'll have to dig out the picture of me with him still in the box on Christmas morning.

2. Worse/Funniest White Elephant gift I've ever received? Nothing stands out in my memory.

3. Is your Christmas tree plain and simple (white lights and matching ornaments) or is it wild and crazy (colored lights with lots of ornaments collected over the years)? I like simple and classy. I would do white lights with red bows every year if it were up to me, with a few traditional ornaments on the tree (ones my Gram made, ones we made as kids, ones in memory of loved ones, etc). But, I don't have my own house yet so I have to do it the way the 'rents want.

4. "How" do you iron your clothes? The old fashioned iron/ironing board, the shower, back in the dryer, etc. Depends. With the new washer and dryer, I've been really good about getting clothes out of the dryer when they're dry... leaving the majority of my clothes not needing ironing. I've been known to hang things in the bathroom during a hot shower and just Wednesday night I pulled out the ironing board and iron...

5. How much baking do you do for Christmas and what are your "must make" items? I always make peanut blossoms - the peanut butter cookies with hershey's kisses in the center. Other than that, I usually make sugar cookies and decorate them but that's not necessarily every year. I have some ideas of traditions I'd love to do with my own children one day, but that will have to wait I guess. :)

5 Question Friday

1. What is your favorite Christmas cookie? I’d say the peanut butter cookies with a Hershey’s Kiss in the center. It’s not very Christmasy, but it’s the only time of year I make them!

2. What’s your favorite holiday movie and why? I can’t pick a favorite. I love Rudolph because I have been watching it for decades. Christmas Vacation is special to me because Chevy Chase reminds me of my Uncle when we would spend Christmas with him and his family. I also had my Gramma sit down and watch the last Christmas she was here for. Elf is special because we saw it in the theatre the day after Christmas – something we never do as a family, and haven’t done again since then. A Christmas Story is just plain amazing – and it is on every Christmas Eve and Christmas Day in our house for the full 24 hours that TNT airs it.

3. Is there a gift you have bought for your kids but wished you hadn’t after they opened it? N/A

4. What is the messiest room in your house right at this moment? Probably the kitchen – and I should probably go clean it instead of posting this.

5. What is the furthest you have driven for the holidays? Michigan to see Tim & his family last year forThanksgiving. Or to Florida for Easter my freshman year of high school.

it's back! for today anyways...

1. What movie do you love to quote? If you're around me for more than a few minutes, chances are I will quote one of the following movies: Dumb & Dumber, Christmas Vacation or Elf.

2. Have you ever ridden a motorcycle? Yes - but nothing exciting. My aunt & uncle came down to my parent's house one afternoon a few years ago on his Harley and I happened to mention in passing I had never been on one. Scariest experience of my life... and he only went about 25mph.

3. What's your favorite thing to do on a rainy day? Sleep. Although lately it would be school work, then sleep.

4. Do you prefer a bunch of small gifts, or one really big (expensive) gift? My family has never been big on gift giving, so it doesn't matter much to me. My parents informed me this week that their gift to me this Christmas is going to be new tires for my car, and I was super excited. Opening gifts on Christmas and my birthday isn't what my parents have made those days about.

5. Do you ever lose track of days and end up somewhere wrong? Not yet! Even on crazy schedules with elementary schools. A few years ago I split a 5 day rotation between 4 schools and not once did I ever make a mistake. Great, yes... but I'd love to have a good stry to tell! :)