ok, new favorite song this week!
Friday, July 30, 2010
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
life
i think today about marks the halfway point through summer. crazy. so far i have done a whole lot of... well, nothing. haven't been to the beach, haven't traveled anywhere exciting. i have, however, bought a car and taken quite a few naps. not really living life to the fullest, i guess. gotta work on that.
last week was my niece rebecca's 13th birthday. 13! although she looks more like she's 18.
i think it's the eye make up.
i remember when rebecca was born. my first niece. she was 5 weeks early and a PEANUT. oh how i love babies!
i digress.
i've been thinking a lot about a lot of different things lately. life in general, really. where is mine going?
it's never easy to admit when you're unhappy with life. at least it's not for me. and when i look back at the past few years, i realize i'm really not that happy.
i love the kids i teach. i really do. as much as some of them drive me crazy, i'm honored and proud to have entered the teaching profession and strive to be a positive influence in the lives of my students each and every day. i know their lives are far from ideal, and i just hope they can look back at their time in my classroom and know that i loved them. it would be great if they learned something, too! but to know that i loved them is more important to me.
when i was job searching, i remember saying ''i just want to find a job. my life has been at a standstill for 3 years and i just want some movement forward.'' i thought getting hired to teach would help change that feeling of my life being "on pause"...
i was 29, and saw myself in a condo by 30. (ha! didn't happen.) paying off student loans, credit card debt, adding a car payment, cell phone bill, "rent", and spending just because i can haven't allowed me to be as close to being debt free as i would like to be. i'm not getting any younger. i'm no closer to living the dream of being a wife and mom than i was 5 years ago when i graduated with my bachelor's...
so now the time has come to make a decision about my master's. honestly, it was something i was hoping i could avoid altogether because i am by NO MEANS a student. i have never been a fan of academia... just a big fan of the social aspect of getting my education. now that i have clean slate to start with, i want to hold myself to high standards. but, the problem lies with where to start...
do i take a step of faith and apply to schools outside of connecticut? what programs should i apply for? do i stop at a master's, or get my 6th year? then, why stop there? i was able to witness my brother's doctoral commencement and was inspired by the ONE and ONLY Ph. D. candidate in education. but do i want to stick with education?
i've thought a lot about nursing. i'd probably apply to an accelerated nursing's program and get my master's. last summer i talked to another youth leader at church about nursing and she offered to have me shadow her for a day on the labor and delivery floor. how AWESOME would that be?? if i'm not blessed with a husband and children, wouldn't it be cool to help bring a bunch of babies into the world?! i think so.
i took out part of a valentine's gift from 2 GREAT girls the other night, and 2 verses they gave me slapped me in the face:
"NEVER stop praying. be THANKFUL in ALL circumstances, for this is GOD's WILL for YOU who BELONG TO JESUS CHRIST." - 1 Thess 5:17-18
and
"commit to the LORD whatever you do... and YOUR PLANS WILL SUCCEED!" - proverbs 16:3
what great verses!!!
i'm not sure anyone will make it to the end of this post... but i wanted to be able to come back at some point and see how far i have come... because at this point in my life... i feel like i'm stuck on "pause" again........
last week was my niece rebecca's 13th birthday. 13! although she looks more like she's 18.
i think it's the eye make up.
i remember when rebecca was born. my first niece. she was 5 weeks early and a PEANUT. oh how i love babies!
i digress.
i've been thinking a lot about a lot of different things lately. life in general, really. where is mine going?
it's never easy to admit when you're unhappy with life. at least it's not for me. and when i look back at the past few years, i realize i'm really not that happy.
i love the kids i teach. i really do. as much as some of them drive me crazy, i'm honored and proud to have entered the teaching profession and strive to be a positive influence in the lives of my students each and every day. i know their lives are far from ideal, and i just hope they can look back at their time in my classroom and know that i loved them. it would be great if they learned something, too! but to know that i loved them is more important to me.
when i was job searching, i remember saying ''i just want to find a job. my life has been at a standstill for 3 years and i just want some movement forward.'' i thought getting hired to teach would help change that feeling of my life being "on pause"...
i was 29, and saw myself in a condo by 30. (ha! didn't happen.) paying off student loans, credit card debt, adding a car payment, cell phone bill, "rent", and spending just because i can haven't allowed me to be as close to being debt free as i would like to be. i'm not getting any younger. i'm no closer to living the dream of being a wife and mom than i was 5 years ago when i graduated with my bachelor's...
so now the time has come to make a decision about my master's. honestly, it was something i was hoping i could avoid altogether because i am by NO MEANS a student. i have never been a fan of academia... just a big fan of the social aspect of getting my education. now that i have clean slate to start with, i want to hold myself to high standards. but, the problem lies with where to start...
do i take a step of faith and apply to schools outside of connecticut? what programs should i apply for? do i stop at a master's, or get my 6th year? then, why stop there? i was able to witness my brother's doctoral commencement and was inspired by the ONE and ONLY Ph. D. candidate in education. but do i want to stick with education?
i've thought a lot about nursing. i'd probably apply to an accelerated nursing's program and get my master's. last summer i talked to another youth leader at church about nursing and she offered to have me shadow her for a day on the labor and delivery floor. how AWESOME would that be?? if i'm not blessed with a husband and children, wouldn't it be cool to help bring a bunch of babies into the world?! i think so.
i took out part of a valentine's gift from 2 GREAT girls the other night, and 2 verses they gave me slapped me in the face:
"NEVER stop praying. be THANKFUL in ALL circumstances, for this is GOD's WILL for YOU who BELONG TO JESUS CHRIST." - 1 Thess 5:17-18
and
"commit to the LORD whatever you do... and YOUR PLANS WILL SUCCEED!" - proverbs 16:3
what great verses!!!
i'm not sure anyone will make it to the end of this post... but i wanted to be able to come back at some point and see how far i have come... because at this point in my life... i feel like i'm stuck on "pause" again........
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