2012

The Lord has laid upon my heart for a few weeks now that this is a year that I am to pray expectantly.

Not just praying for the sake of praying...

not praying because I feel it is the right thing to do...

not praying to get what I want... (admit it, you do it too!)

but having a prayer life that draws me closer to my Maker and with the ASSURANCE and CERTAINTY that He hears me.

It's about praying without doubt.

You know, that little voice in your head that is whispering (or some days shouting) "Why bother? This prayer has gone unanswered for YEARS."

Those prayers for me are praying for a husband. Praying for weight loss. Praying for healing for individuals in my church family. Praying for friends who are trying to conceive. Praying for salvation for loved ones. Praying for students I had in youth group who have walked away from their faith. There are countless others...

But looking back, I have been praying those prayers without the expectant hope and faith that He will answer them. I know some people would look at this not as "unanswered prayer" but prayer that has been answered, just not the way we wanted it to be answered.

Personally, it's been that voice that creates doubt. That voice that discourages. The voice that says "He can't" when I boldly proclaim in my praise and worship that He can... and He has.

What the Lord has laid upon my heart was affirmed last Sunday in the sermon my Pastor preached. He is doing a series out of the book of James, and the verse we studied yesterday was James chapter 1, verse 6:

"But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind."

He took us to the passage in Mark where a father takes his son to Jesus. This man's son is possessed by demons. He explains to Jesus (I'm paraphrasing here) that his son has seizures, causing him to become paralyzed and foaming at the mouth. He thrashes around and many times it has nearly killed him. He basically asks Jesus "If you can do anything here to help my son, please do it."

I love Jesus' response. "IF you can? Nothing is impossible for he who believes."

I also love the response of the man to Jesus' statement. "Lord, I believe.... but help my unbelief!"

Can you relate to that? I sure can. I have read that verse several times throughout my life and have always been able to relate to it... but when I read it that morning, it was as if I had never read those words before.

It's like God was playing one of those Verizon Wireless commercials in my head while I sat there: "Can you hear Me now?"

Loud. And. Clear.

Here's to a year of praying expectantly. Looking forward to great things this year!

wait

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word."

"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign."

"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run."

"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint."

"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.

"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart."

"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last."

"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you."

"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."

by Russell Kelfer