2012

The Lord has laid upon my heart for a few weeks now that this is a year that I am to pray expectantly.

Not just praying for the sake of praying...

not praying because I feel it is the right thing to do...

not praying to get what I want... (admit it, you do it too!)

but having a prayer life that draws me closer to my Maker and with the ASSURANCE and CERTAINTY that He hears me.

It's about praying without doubt.

You know, that little voice in your head that is whispering (or some days shouting) "Why bother? This prayer has gone unanswered for YEARS."

Those prayers for me are praying for a husband. Praying for weight loss. Praying for healing for individuals in my church family. Praying for friends who are trying to conceive. Praying for salvation for loved ones. Praying for students I had in youth group who have walked away from their faith. There are countless others...

But looking back, I have been praying those prayers without the expectant hope and faith that He will answer them. I know some people would look at this not as "unanswered prayer" but prayer that has been answered, just not the way we wanted it to be answered.

Personally, it's been that voice that creates doubt. That voice that discourages. The voice that says "He can't" when I boldly proclaim in my praise and worship that He can... and He has.

What the Lord has laid upon my heart was affirmed last Sunday in the sermon my Pastor preached. He is doing a series out of the book of James, and the verse we studied yesterday was James chapter 1, verse 6:

"But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind."

He took us to the passage in Mark where a father takes his son to Jesus. This man's son is possessed by demons. He explains to Jesus (I'm paraphrasing here) that his son has seizures, causing him to become paralyzed and foaming at the mouth. He thrashes around and many times it has nearly killed him. He basically asks Jesus "If you can do anything here to help my son, please do it."

I love Jesus' response. "IF you can? Nothing is impossible for he who believes."

I also love the response of the man to Jesus' statement. "Lord, I believe.... but help my unbelief!"

Can you relate to that? I sure can. I have read that verse several times throughout my life and have always been able to relate to it... but when I read it that morning, it was as if I had never read those words before.

It's like God was playing one of those Verizon Wireless commercials in my head while I sat there: "Can you hear Me now?"

Loud. And. Clear.

Here's to a year of praying expectantly. Looking forward to great things this year!

wait

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word."

"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign."

"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run."

"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint."

"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.

"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart."

"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last."

"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you."

"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."

by Russell Kelfer

Five Question Friday

1. What's the best Christmas present you've ever received? I would have to say my Cabbage Patch Kid when I was 5 or 6 years old. He was exactly what I wanted - a boy, bald with brown eyes. I loved that doll. I'll have to dig out the picture of me with him still in the box on Christmas morning.

2. Worse/Funniest White Elephant gift I've ever received? Nothing stands out in my memory.

3. Is your Christmas tree plain and simple (white lights and matching ornaments) or is it wild and crazy (colored lights with lots of ornaments collected over the years)? I like simple and classy. I would do white lights with red bows every year if it were up to me, with a few traditional ornaments on the tree (ones my Gram made, ones we made as kids, ones in memory of loved ones, etc). But, I don't have my own house yet so I have to do it the way the 'rents want.

4. "How" do you iron your clothes? The old fashioned iron/ironing board, the shower, back in the dryer, etc. Depends. With the new washer and dryer, I've been really good about getting clothes out of the dryer when they're dry... leaving the majority of my clothes not needing ironing. I've been known to hang things in the bathroom during a hot shower and just Wednesday night I pulled out the ironing board and iron...

5. How much baking do you do for Christmas and what are your "must make" items? I always make peanut blossoms - the peanut butter cookies with hershey's kisses in the center. Other than that, I usually make sugar cookies and decorate them but that's not necessarily every year. I have some ideas of traditions I'd love to do with my own children one day, but that will have to wait I guess. :)

5 Question Friday

1. What is your favorite Christmas cookie? I’d say the peanut butter cookies with a Hershey’s Kiss in the center. It’s not very Christmasy, but it’s the only time of year I make them!

2. What’s your favorite holiday movie and why? I can’t pick a favorite. I love Rudolph because I have been watching it for decades. Christmas Vacation is special to me because Chevy Chase reminds me of my Uncle when we would spend Christmas with him and his family. I also had my Gramma sit down and watch the last Christmas she was here for. Elf is special because we saw it in the theatre the day after Christmas – something we never do as a family, and haven’t done again since then. A Christmas Story is just plain amazing – and it is on every Christmas Eve and Christmas Day in our house for the full 24 hours that TNT airs it.

3. Is there a gift you have bought for your kids but wished you hadn’t after they opened it? N/A

4. What is the messiest room in your house right at this moment? Probably the kitchen – and I should probably go clean it instead of posting this.

5. What is the furthest you have driven for the holidays? Michigan to see Tim & his family last year forThanksgiving. Or to Florida for Easter my freshman year of high school.

it's back! for today anyways...

1. What movie do you love to quote? If you're around me for more than a few minutes, chances are I will quote one of the following movies: Dumb & Dumber, Christmas Vacation or Elf.

2. Have you ever ridden a motorcycle? Yes - but nothing exciting. My aunt & uncle came down to my parent's house one afternoon a few years ago on his Harley and I happened to mention in passing I had never been on one. Scariest experience of my life... and he only went about 25mph.

3. What's your favorite thing to do on a rainy day? Sleep. Although lately it would be school work, then sleep.

4. Do you prefer a bunch of small gifts, or one really big (expensive) gift? My family has never been big on gift giving, so it doesn't matter much to me. My parents informed me this week that their gift to me this Christmas is going to be new tires for my car, and I was super excited. Opening gifts on Christmas and my birthday isn't what my parents have made those days about.

5. Do you ever lose track of days and end up somewhere wrong? Not yet! Even on crazy schedules with elementary schools. A few years ago I split a 5 day rotation between 4 schools and not once did I ever make a mistake. Great, yes... but I'd love to have a good stry to tell! :)

I have fallen in love with this song from the first time i heard it today.

5 Question Friday

Happy July!!

1.) If you were given the opportunity to bungee jump, would you? Um...... NO.

2.) Would you rather go to the movie theater or drive-in? Drive in because I have never been!

3.) Do you have your groceries delivered? No reason to have them delivered, unless laziness is a reason! I think it is a great thing for the elderly or disabled or if you have 50 kids and can't get to the grocery store... but otherwise I don't see a need to have your groceries delivered.

4.) Eyebrows: Do you wax, thread, pluck or stay au naturel? Try to stay on top of plucking, but if I get really behind I get a wax. Au Naturel would mean uni-brow in my case!

5.) Would the people you went to high school with be surprised by your life today? Seeing as I was a band geek and turned out to be a music teacher, I would say no. :)

What I'm Loving Wednesday

Wednesday already! I feel like this week is flying by! Last week was super busy, it seemed to drag... but of course my first official week of summer vacation and I don't know where the time is going...

Here's a list of what I'm lovin - I'm going to be boring this week and make it a picture-free post!

1.) Since school is over I have spent Monday and Tuesday deep cleaning the house. Monday was the kitchen, living room, dining room and bathrooms. I try to help my parents out by pulling some weight in the cleaning department, but usually don't have time or energy during the work week. What a difference it makes having all day, every day to make things tidy. All that to say, this week I'm loving all things Swiffer related!

2.) I'm certainly loving the warmer, summer-like weather.

3.) I'm loving that this weekend is 4th of July and I will be spending time with family!

4.) I'm loving that 5 weeks from today my twin nephews will be here for over a week!!!!!

5.) I'm loving that tonight I get to meet with my advisor to set up my classes for this fall that will go towards my Master's degree!

6.) I'm loving still being on a school schedule and that sleeping til 7 or 7:30 feels like sleeping in! (This usually only lasts a week or two... the late nights catch up to me quickly!)

7.) I'm loving a clean bill of health from the doctor and a 10-15lb weight change (lower!) than a year ago!

8.) I'm loving that my time in New London is D O N E and I'm on to bigger and better things :)

9.) I'm loving that a new baby is going to be joining our family in a little less than 10 weeks!

10.) I'm loving my precious puppy probably a little more than I should now that I'm home every day. :)

Hope you're having a happy hump day!

What I'm Loving Wednesday!

I can't believe the day is nearly over. This has been such a busy week and it will continue to be busy until Sunday afternoon. I think at that point I will truly feel like school is out for the summer! My list is short but here's what I'm lovin'!
Days til summer vacation: ZERO!!! School's out for summer!!!!!
Speaking of school being out - this song has been playing over and over in my head!

THIS GUY graduated from my alma mater tonight! I couldn't be more proud!! How cute is he?!

I've been loving reading memories of my former student, Ruben... who sadly, passed away after a month long battle with a rare form of brain cancer. This guy was really one in a million... he was a beautiful soul and will be missed each and every day -

5 Question Friday!

1. What is your favorite summer time activity? The things I love about summer are - being able to wake up and not having to get in the shower and out the door 6 days a week, family get togethers and BBQ's, travel to see family and friends and just sitting on the front porch rockers until all hours of the evening enjoying a margarita!

2. Do you have one laundry sop you stick to, or do you buy whatever is on sale? I usually buy either Era or Tide. Tide is so stinking expensive... but it smells so stinking good! I've been using coupons to buy it at BJ's Wholesale so it is a little cheaper... but it still kills me sometimes to buy it!

3. What is your favorite dinner to make in the summer? I LOVE to grill out in the summer. I'm gonna go with either honey balsamic chicken or a burger... with a huge green salad, corn on the cob and.... a margarita!

4. Do you have any talents? No hidden talents that I can think of... other than worry like a pro about things that are totally out of my control! ha!

5. If you could instantly be an expert at something, what would it be? Why? I would LOVE to be able to be a talented photographer and have an eye for those amazing pictures that photographers have! Either that or I would be a mind reader :)