cancer is...

... a bitch.

ahem. i apologize.

but it's a true statement.

i have a friend that i met just after i graduated from high school. we went to mitchell college together, and she started coming to groton heights while she was in school, seeing as she's from MA. in getting to know mandy, she told me her story of being diagnosed with hogdkins lymphoma at 14 years old.

mandy never looked well, but she was cured of her cancer and lived to tell about it. she lived to tell about the miraculous works God performed in her life. she was told she would never have children. after getting married, she has since had 3. 3 beautiful boys, who are being raised to chase after Jesus.

mandy was diagnosed with breast cancer 6 years ago. she was 27 years old, and the mother of 3. she underwent surgery after surgery, round after round of chemo. these cancer cells were new, and not related to the hodgkins at all. she lives to tell about it... about her 2 bouts with cancer and her 2 stories of cancer survival...

back in august i found out mandy was diagnosed with stomach cancer. again, the cancer cells completely unrelated to the previous 2 cancers. she looks awful. she has lost too much weight, and her stomach is so distended she looks about 7 months pregnant. she's in round 4 of chemo, and her symptoms are getting worse, not better. she goes for a CAT scan tuesday, and sees the doctor wednesday. they will determine wednesday if she is a candidate for surgery - which would be to REMOVE her STOMACH - and if she's not a candidate, it's chemo for life. it's certain to be a shortened life, filled with drugs that sometimes make you more sick than the actual cancer symptoms themselves. and when i say shortened, i'm thinking months, not years.

i don't get it. i don't get why these types of things happen. i don't understand why God allows cancer. i've known people who have died of cancer... but tonight when i saw mandy... i SAW cancer. it's hideous. and repulsive. and revolting. i saw cancer and the way it's rearing its ugly head in mandy's life again. i saw the toll it takes on a person; on a mother of 3 young boys; on her husband and on her family. It consumes her every thought. she desires to get her mind off of it, but wants to talk about it constantly, too.

please keep mandy in your prayers. i hope to update later this week with good news. i try to see the positive in all things. i try to see God's mercy - new every morning... but this time... it's going to be tough.