while my job brings me great stress... partly due to starting in the middle of the school year, partly due to the school climate, and partly due to ridiculous state demands... there's something great about knowing you're in the center of God's perfect will.

last monday i mentioned something to my 6th grade band about how much i can't stand profanity, one of the students flat out asked me "are you a christian?" now granted, i wasn't happy about the fact that he just blurted this out in class without permission to speak, but i was thrilled at the question... to which i proudly responded "yes!".

thursday i had a student who was being... shall we say... disruptive. she's got a great personality, but i worry about some of the decisions she's making in her life.

anyhow, she said something, and i replied "oh goodness".

she said "miss, do you think i'm going to h-e-double hockey sticks?"

my response?

"do you love Jesus?".

it just kind of came out without my thinking about it. and if i've done nothing else but give these kids something to think about, i'm ok with that. knowing that maybe... just maybe... i'm planting a mustard seed... lowers my stress to a bearable level.

i HATE flying. hate isn't even a strong enough word... it's not so much the control issue... it's the we-may-plummet-to-our-death issue. i'm completely petrified of plunging thousands of feet, even though i continue to tell myself that i know where i'm going when my Father decides to take me home.

why do i worry? God has everything under control. i returned home this morning from spending a week in arizona with my sister and her family... while i thoroughly enjoyed having my mom and sister in the same state for the first time in nearly 2 years, i found myself worrying all week about the flight home and praying relentlessly for our safety. that's no way to go through a vacation.

it seems that's been the theme of the past several months... scratch that - years. it seems every trial in life, God is consistently trying to communicate to me that ultimately He is in total control, and i need to stop worrying.

i was diagnosed with an ulcer a few weeks back... an ulcer that was most likely caused by stress and worrying... worrying about school... worrying about finances... worrying about the next stage of life... worrying about employment... worrying about things that i shouldn't be worrying about.

anyhow... i was going to post some pictures but... this website is not cooperating... check back later :)

He is risen!

Alleluia! He is risen!! He is risen indeed! it was so good to have my pastor back in church today. absolutely nothing that can beat being in church on easter sunday... easter is what our faith is all about... nothing can compare to singing hymns and praise songs on resurrection sunday!

God is so good! He provides over and over again...

leather interior, heated seats, sunroof!, power doors/locks, security, new tires, and more! i pick up the car friday!!!

say hello to violet #2!

happy birthday amanda :)

10 years ago:
i was 19 years old. i was attending uconn at avery point, and working part time as a church secretary at what i believe is the only southern baptist church in the area, as well as a pharmacy technician at brooks (now rite aid). being raised in church, i had just recently gotten serious about my relationship with God and was baptized. i knew i wanted to teach, but wasn't sure what.

On my to do list:
for life? get married, become a mommy, own a home, do some ministry work, travel the world, etc.
today? get downstairs on the treadmill, study awana verses, relax.

What would I do if I suddenly became a billionaire?
pay off student loans, send mom and dad on an amazing trip, give a good chunk to church, buy a home, give some to friends.


Three of my bad habits:
-i'm a bigtime worrier
-procrastination
-if i'm just standing doing something, i roll my feet

Five jobs I've had:-
-retail at cvs
-pharmacy tech at brooks
-church secretary
-ccsu music department student administrative assistant
-special education tutor

Five things people don't know about me:-
-i didn't have my 1st kiss til i was 25... and regret it everytime i think of it...
-my oldest brother is adopted
-at my highest weight i tipped the scales at over 200 pounds (back in 1998)
-i'm a beverly hills 90210 and full house junkie... and could watch them for hours...
-i'm a HUGE germaphobe

Now I'll tag 5 people:
i'm not going to tag 5 people because the people i would tag have been already!

-i had a curriculum meeting last week, so there was a sub in my room... along with a fight between 3 girls... one who wasn't even in my class. excellent.

-last friday i had a student dial 911 from my room while i was doing hall duty.

-tuesday i took my very first field trip. i took my 6th grade band (about 20 kids) and walked them to the garde to see a jazz concert and didn't lose a single kid!

-i became deathly ill (ok not really) tuesday night with a fever of 102 (which lasted 4 days). my doctor diagnosed me with bronchitis, my mom diagnosed me with the flu.

never a dull moment :)

pretty nifty

quincy, who has a harsh exterior but a softy on the inside, came to class the other day with writing (in permanant marker) on her arm. my first thought was 'what kind of obscenities are written on this girl's arm?!". i ask to see her arm, and much to my surprise, she had scripture written there. john 3:16 to be exact. how cool is that?!

school is improving... and i am beginning to realize more and more that this is the mission field that God has given me. i've said for years that i want to do what God wants me to do, and that i'd be a missionary in the farthest ends of the earth if that's what He called me to do...

my students are hurting... they're facing challenges and situations daily that no child should have to experience. they're having sex... and a lot of it. they're experimenting with, selling and doing drugs on a daily basis. their living conditions are deplorable. they have no values, no morals, no respect for authority or each other.

day in and day out i think "why deal with this when i can teach somewhere else and not deal with it"... and the thought that follows immediately is that these kids have been given up on so many times already - and i don't want to be another person to walk out on them. at the same time - my sanity is on the line!!!

i talk to God more during my days now than ever before. i know i can do all things through Him... and i also know i'm where i am for a reason. i'm the only Jesus these kids may ever see... what a challenge! what a privilege! what a responsibility!

if you know me, you know i'm a huge fan of the red sox... and one thing i LOVE about the red sox is that they had the highest contingent of evangelical christians of any team in major league baseball... but i digress.

i'm also a fan of curt schilling. granted - the guy is getting older, but he somehow manages to come through every time it counts. i love him for a few reasons - he loves Jesus, and he supports our troops overseas who are giving their lives for our freedom.

i came across this video on his blog, and felt compelled to share it... if only this could become reality....

i only created this blog...

so i am able to leave comments on amanda's blog... although i have considered creating a blog to take many internet junkies on my weight loss journey... we'll see... i'll have to give it so more consideration.