"there is more to your life than you ever thought. there is more to your story than what you have read." - max lucado

these words were on a birthday card sent by a dear friend of mine from choir. those words came just as i was mourning my twenties... thinking of all the things i wanted to accomplish this past decade and and failed to do.

upon graduating high school, the plan was to graduate college by 21, find an amazing job by 22, buy a house by 24, be married by 25 and be done having kids by 30. oh, i had it all planned out. i would teach part time after having my children. i even envisioned a white picket fence! but oh... the Lord had other plans.

with hitting 30 the itch to marry is getting stronger... of course i need to be dating a guy for that to happen. and the maternal pull is getting stronger... of course having a husband helps in that area. at 30 did i see myself with just a half year of teaching under my belt? did i see myself teaching in new london of all places? did i see myself living with my parents still? did i see myself parent only to a dog?

no.

but i also didn't see my walk with the Lord being stronger than it ever has been. i didn't see the amazing people currently in my life. i have an amazing family, great friends, wonderful coworkers, beautiful nieces and nephews, a job that pays decently, a church family that is an incredible support system. i have my health, a roof over my head, a comfortable bed to sleep in, food to eat (often times too much :P), a very cute car... and so much more.

so... i guess my point is... while i was lost in my self pity... this card with the words of max lucado couldn't have come at a better time! i KNOW that this was just a reminder from God that while i'm finished with my twenties... He's not finished with me yet!

i'm going to miss this child. my sister, nieces and nephew left today after a nearly month-long visit.

this video was taken on wednesday - i was trying to distract my niece so my sister could leave and run some toddler-free errands. my favorite part is at the end, when natalya turns, smiles, and says "toot toot". :)

"Men may spurn our appeals, reject our message... despise our person; but they are helpless against our prayers."
~ J. Sidlow Baxter

school's out for summer!

well... i made it.

june 18th seemed a million days away in february. there were many days and nights when i wondered "WHAT have i gotten myself into??". but you know what? God saw me through. He provided. people prayed. i prayed. i cried out to God and He answered. He didn't just answer - He answered big.

today the 8th grade was promoted to 9th... and for the first time i felt sad that my 8th graders were leaving. 8th grade promotion is a big deal in my district - largely because statistically, nearly half of those students won't walk across another stage again. i never thought that i might miss them... but i just beamed with pride as they crossed that stage - in their gowns, dresses, suits, tuxedos... they somehow moved their way into a nook in my heart that will be there forever. today i couldn't be prouder of them.

i was worried sick this past weekend about the band playing at promotion. we prepared for promotion in just 3 weeks amid team celebrations, field trips, class trips, testing and other interruptions. the kids stepped up to the challenge.. even though at times i was pulling my hair out... they came through. several teachers came to me and told me that was the best the band has sounded in years. my superintendent commented on how well they sounded. not bad for arriving in january.

now i have 2 and 1/2 weeks of vacation... then 4 weeks of summer music lessons in july. i'll have most of august off until school starts up again. in the mean time, if you're looking for me... try one of the local beaches. :)

He gives... and takes away

i'm so thankful that God has given me the dishmons as friends... but, as the song goes... He gives... and takes away...

it's no secret amanda dishmon is one of my most favorite people EVER. and it kills me that she and josh are moving across the country (although the prospect of visiting california is AMAZING)... i feel like i've known them a lot longer than a little over a year... and that's what is going to make this transition so stinkin' difficult.

amanda and josh - it's purely selfish of me to want you stay here... i wish nothing but the best to both of you and hope california is better than you've dreamed...

i've heard it said
that people come into our lives for a reason
bringing something we must learn
and we are led
to those who help us most to grow
if we let them
and we help them in return

well, i don't know if i believe that's true
but i know i'm who i am today
because i knew you...

it well may be
that we will never meet again
in this lifetime
so let me say before we part
so much of me
is made of what i learned from you
you'll be with me
like a handprint on my heart
and now whatever way our stories end
i know you have re-written mine
by being my friend...

who can say if i've been
changed for the better?
i do believe i have been
changed for the better

because i knew you...
i have been changed for good...


thanks for such a fun ride... i'll cherish it forever.
i'm gonna miss you.......

while my job brings me great stress... partly due to starting in the middle of the school year, partly due to the school climate, and partly due to ridiculous state demands... there's something great about knowing you're in the center of God's perfect will.

last monday i mentioned something to my 6th grade band about how much i can't stand profanity, one of the students flat out asked me "are you a christian?" now granted, i wasn't happy about the fact that he just blurted this out in class without permission to speak, but i was thrilled at the question... to which i proudly responded "yes!".

thursday i had a student who was being... shall we say... disruptive. she's got a great personality, but i worry about some of the decisions she's making in her life.

anyhow, she said something, and i replied "oh goodness".

she said "miss, do you think i'm going to h-e-double hockey sticks?"

my response?

"do you love Jesus?".

it just kind of came out without my thinking about it. and if i've done nothing else but give these kids something to think about, i'm ok with that. knowing that maybe... just maybe... i'm planting a mustard seed... lowers my stress to a bearable level.

i HATE flying. hate isn't even a strong enough word... it's not so much the control issue... it's the we-may-plummet-to-our-death issue. i'm completely petrified of plunging thousands of feet, even though i continue to tell myself that i know where i'm going when my Father decides to take me home.

why do i worry? God has everything under control. i returned home this morning from spending a week in arizona with my sister and her family... while i thoroughly enjoyed having my mom and sister in the same state for the first time in nearly 2 years, i found myself worrying all week about the flight home and praying relentlessly for our safety. that's no way to go through a vacation.

it seems that's been the theme of the past several months... scratch that - years. it seems every trial in life, God is consistently trying to communicate to me that ultimately He is in total control, and i need to stop worrying.

i was diagnosed with an ulcer a few weeks back... an ulcer that was most likely caused by stress and worrying... worrying about school... worrying about finances... worrying about the next stage of life... worrying about employment... worrying about things that i shouldn't be worrying about.

anyhow... i was going to post some pictures but... this website is not cooperating... check back later :)

He is risen!

Alleluia! He is risen!! He is risen indeed! it was so good to have my pastor back in church today. absolutely nothing that can beat being in church on easter sunday... easter is what our faith is all about... nothing can compare to singing hymns and praise songs on resurrection sunday!

God is so good! He provides over and over again...

leather interior, heated seats, sunroof!, power doors/locks, security, new tires, and more! i pick up the car friday!!!

say hello to violet #2!

happy birthday amanda :)

10 years ago:
i was 19 years old. i was attending uconn at avery point, and working part time as a church secretary at what i believe is the only southern baptist church in the area, as well as a pharmacy technician at brooks (now rite aid). being raised in church, i had just recently gotten serious about my relationship with God and was baptized. i knew i wanted to teach, but wasn't sure what.

On my to do list:
for life? get married, become a mommy, own a home, do some ministry work, travel the world, etc.
today? get downstairs on the treadmill, study awana verses, relax.

What would I do if I suddenly became a billionaire?
pay off student loans, send mom and dad on an amazing trip, give a good chunk to church, buy a home, give some to friends.


Three of my bad habits:
-i'm a bigtime worrier
-procrastination
-if i'm just standing doing something, i roll my feet

Five jobs I've had:-
-retail at cvs
-pharmacy tech at brooks
-church secretary
-ccsu music department student administrative assistant
-special education tutor

Five things people don't know about me:-
-i didn't have my 1st kiss til i was 25... and regret it everytime i think of it...
-my oldest brother is adopted
-at my highest weight i tipped the scales at over 200 pounds (back in 1998)
-i'm a beverly hills 90210 and full house junkie... and could watch them for hours...
-i'm a HUGE germaphobe

Now I'll tag 5 people:
i'm not going to tag 5 people because the people i would tag have been already!